About Mothering Sunday and MU StoriesMary Sumner House (MSH) - 21 Mar 2022
Why Mothering Sunday is more relevant than ever:
A brief history.
Social togetherness is more important now than it ever was. Traditional festival days and related celebrative events in the calendar bring people together and strengthen communities. Mothering Sunday has come a long way from its origins but remains a means of fostering closeness.
12 Feb 2020
In the Middle Ages
Back in the 16th century, on Mothering Sunday, people used to return to the church where they were baptised, or the local parish church. This was known as their ‘mother church’. The essence of this practice was that people remained in touch with the community they had grown up in. The actual service took place on the fourth Sunday of Lent and symbolised the coming together of families.
As time moved on, the make-up of communities entered a stage of transition. Mothering Sunday was adapted to fit the evolving nature of local people and places. Many families became disbursed due to upheavals within society. Related to this, the practices associated with the day changed too.
Further changes and challenges to the Observance
As practices gradually changed, it became a day when servants of large households and country estates were allowed to return home to visit their families. The traditions associated with the day were changing too. The day itself became less focused on the religious roots and more about specific relations within families.
By the early 20th century the practice of returning to one’s ‘mother church’ had become so neglected in the UK and Ireland that there were calls to revive it from social activists of the time. Consequently, decisions were made throughout the country to incorporate wider practices from across the Christian faiths and bring back a festival.
During the 1950’s, figures in business spotted commercial opportunities on offer. Thus, the commodification of the day both secured its endurance and altered its significance in the minds of the population.
The modern Mothering Sunday
In modern times, there has been increased commercialisation and secular uptake. Mothering Sunday has become very much a recognition of the role of a mother in contemporary society. Gifts are sold, flowers are bought and cards are sent.
Mothers of all kinds wake up across the country knowing that this is their day. A day to be treated to lavish days out and receive gifts from loved ones. Despite the commercial forces driving the recognition, it is an important day for families coming together.
Those people lucky enough to find themselves in the role of a mother to another person can spend their time on Mothering Sunday feeling cherished. Stronger bonds within families lead to stronger bonds within communities. In potentially fractious times, this is more vital than ever.
MOTHERS’ UNION STORIES FOR MOTHERING SUNDAY
Shirley’s story
Shirley Lee Stone is from Jamaica and has six boys and one girl. Sadly one of her sons was lost to gun crime. But Mothers’ Union’s Worldwide Parenting Programme has completely revolutionised the relationship she has with her children and, she believes, has prevented her from losing any more of them.
“I did not used to have a relationship with my children. I would call them awful names and throw stones at them. I would seldom sit and talk with them. I fed and clothed them but never found the time to show them a mother’s love.
But Mothers’ Union showed me how to be a true parent to my children, loving and caring for them.
I began communicating with them. I now encourage them when they do not do well in school and congratulate them when they do. It has been amazing to open up to my daughter. We talk about relationships and school work; I am more involved in her life but still allow her space. I show her love.
Had I known about this programme sooner, I believe my boy would still be here.
I would have known how to truly be a mother and how to properly protect him. But I have learnt how to reach out to the others and be there for them. Even though their father has passed, I promise to do my best for them. Thanks to Mothers’ Union they will stay alive.”
Rebecca’s story
“I thank God for Mothers’ Union who have helped me learn to read and write. I am
so happy that, as a result, I could join a school for adults and pass my exams.
Before I could read I couldn’t check the expiry date for medicine. But if my children
get sick now I can give them the correct treatment.
Mothers’ Union’s Literacy & Financial Education Programme showed me that
education is so important! And I’m making sure my children know this too because
it gives them opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise have.
Since becoming literate, Mothers’ Union has also helped me start a business making
and selling ice cream and juice. The income is providing a better life for my family.”
Angelina’s story
In rural Uganda many children drop out of school to look for jobs or smuggle goods across the border to Kenya. Boys seek employment in the gold mines. Girls run away to the big city to work as maids, or worse, to marry too young.
Angelina and Eliud, as parents of nine children, were anxious about their children’s future but didn’t know where to turn. Mothers’ Union Community Development Coordinator, Connie quickly saw the problem and set up a parenting group. Through the group Angelina, Eliud and thirty eight other parents in the village have found support, learnt new skills and strengthened their relationship. Now the parents’ group visits local schools to promote education and speak out against the risks of early marriage and HIV/AIDS.
“There is a great change. Since joining the group we are happy, we work together, we sell pineapples and other vegetables. Now we have the skills, we can nurture our children and bring up our children in the right way.”
Lena’s story (Parenting Group Facilitator, Guyana)
The Mothers' Union parenting programme is a special ministry and has touched over 200 lives through the six groups I have facilitated. One woman who was recently been deported back to Guyana heard about the programme and joined my group. Before in the other country she stole, shoplifted, prostituted and used drugs. She even went to jail and her first daughter was born in prison. She felt so low that she wanted to commit suicide and kill her daughter when she was deported back to Guyana once she was released from prison. When she joined the parenting group she felt so supported by all the other parents and carers there. She started to sell snacks, her local priest assisted her with a house and this led her to start assisting others in greater need. In this parenting group all the members provide emotional and practical support and also financial if it is needed. This support has enabled her to develop her little business and it is now very successful. She also works with the local youth to clean up their local environment. Her daughter is now in high school and doing well. This is just one story of many where the programme has provided a supportive and nurturing environment where people are encouraged to reach their full potential.
Priscilla’s story
Priscilla is 52 years old, she lives in South Sudan. She married when she was just 13 years old. Her culture did not think that educating women was important and so for many years Priscilla could not read or write.
“A girl was viewed as a source of family income and so we were not allowed to go to school.”
And yet is was Priscilla’s dream to go to school. “Though I was married my dream to go to school was yearning within me.”
When Priscilla learnt about the Mothers’ Union Literacy & Financial Education Programme (LFEP) she was the first person to register as she felt that her ‘dream had now been fulfilled.’ Priscilla has now finished the programme and her life has changed completely. She cannot believe the impact it has had on her life.
Priscilla can now make a family budget in order to spend the little money the family have more wisely.
“In the past... when my husband gave me some money, I really didn’t know how to spend it. It created some differences between me and my husband because sometimes I could not account for the money I was given.”
She has also gained skills in saving and loans and has started a small business. The trainers and facilitators have helped Priscilla discuss with her fellow literacy circle members how to take care of the environment, and learn more about hygiene and nutrition.
Mothers’ Union’s Literacy & Financial Education Programme trains facilitators to work with literacy circles, like Priscilla’s, and they have seen an amazing impact across the whole community. Priscilla had to wait many years for her dream to be fulfilled but now she could not be happier. She wanted to send a personal thank you.
“I want to thank those who made it possible for us to get this programme in our community.”
UK stories
Paul, a police child protection officer, told us that he gave a teddy knitted by members to a child, just before he started what he referred to as a ‘child victim interview; with a little girl. At the end of the interview, the child went to give Paul the teddy back, but he explained that she could keep it. This little girl beamed at Paul, thanked him, and told him that her daddy had pulled the arms off her own teddy, and thrown it away.
A mother who went with her family on an Away From it All Holiday wrote afterwards to the Mothers’ Union to say: This holiday meant so much to us - we can finally start living our lives with recharged batteries and a new outlook on life. I just hope you understand how much happiness you have given to us
A family who benefited from an Away From it All Holiday: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the generosity of your members and the volunteers for the lovely holiday that my daughter and her partner and children (from South Wonston) have had in West Sussex for the last 2 years. She and her children have blossomed because of it and appreciate the love and support given to them. They hope that others lucky enough to go will appreciate it as much. Please pass on my thanks to all involved.
A parent who went along to a parents group told us how much it helped her: She said: “It was nice because when you listen to the other mums you realise your children are normal and that other parents have problems and bad days too.
I know now that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and I learnt that how you speak to and treat your child now, will influence how they treat and relate to people as they grow up...”...”
A prisoner, who had been in prison for a number of years, wrote to the Mothers’ Union to say thank you for sending him a Christmas card. He explained that he’d been in prison for a number of years, and it was nice to know that someone was thinking of him at Christmas.
These are just some of the ways that people’s lives have been touched by Mothers’ Union.
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